To the Stay-at-Home Mom Who Feels Lonely

This a letter to my fellow stay-at-home moms. At one time or another we all feel lonely, like we aren’t a part of the outside world, that no one understands what we’re dealing with day to day, this is a letter to tell you that you are not alone. 

Dear Lonely Mama,

First of all, I want you to know that you are amazing, fantastic, beautiful, creative, funny, and gorgeous. Tell yourself that every day if you need to. Remember it. Don’t ever forget it. 

Second of all, don’t feel guilty for feeling lonely, it’s just a feeling and there’s nothing wrong with feeling. Even if you know that you’re not alone, you have friends and family and people who love you, you can still feel lonely. If you feel it, then it’s real to you. And you’re not a bad mom for feeling lonely.

And mama, you are not alone. Every mom that I know has felt lonely on occasion, myself included. I still have moments of feeling lonely, when I’m stuck in the house for days at a time with basically no contact with the outside world because our entire family is sick, for example. But overall, I’ve learned how to see the joy even when I “should” feel lonely. 

You can feel joy too!

I’ll tell you how. 

First, give your days and your life over to Jesus. Knowing that Jesus is walking beside you as you go through your day will give you a peace that no one on earth can give you. Romans 12:1-2 (Message version) says, “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”

Second, surround yourself with a strong support system. I’m soon releasing a course with a whole lesson on making mom friends and building a support system of friends and family around yourself. Are you filling your life with people who are living for the Lord? Who are generally filled with joy and happiness? Don’t let someone else’s negative emotions drag you down because that feeling of loneliness will pop up when you’re feeling down. You need real life friends but virtual ones are awesome too! Come connect with some awesome mamas + homemakers in my Facebook community.

Third, take care of yourself. I know what you’re thinking…”How can taking care of myself make me not feel lonely?” Self-care is vital to living a joy-filled life. This means taking time to refill your soul so that you’re filled with positivity and that mean lonely feeling can’t come creeping in. If self-care is a struggle for you, you won’t want to miss the webinar that I’m hosting next Wednesday, March 8th at 1pm EST. During Restored. Refreshed. Replenished. we will talk about everything related to self-care and how to practice it without feeling guilty. You can learn more about the webinar here. If you can’t make it live, I’ll be sending out a replay that will be good for a limited time.

Put these steps into action and I can’t promise that everything will be 100% better right away, but I can tell you that it will improve and once these practices have become a habit, it’ll be much harder for loneliness to creep in. 

Remember, I love you and I think that you are doing an amazing job! 


Abby Barstow