Finding Community as a Stay-at-Home Mom
Being a stay-at-home mom can be isolating, especially when your long-time friends are in completely opposite life stages. There’s also this fear we have as moms that other moms will judge us for how we decide to raise our kids, what food brands we buy, how kind of car we drive, and I could go on and on…
But the reality is that if there’s a fellow mama who does judge you for those things, then she’s not someone young in your circle anyway. I know, it’s hard to brush things like that off, I’m not good at all the time either, but once you’re able to take a step back and realize that someone who is judgemental and makes you feel less of yourself, isn’t worth being upset over, the faster you can step out again and make some real friends.
Now we can get into the good stuff about making mom friends.
There are three steps it takes to make an awesome-sauce mom friend and my goal is to encourage you to take these steps so you can start building a community of supportive friends around you.
Step One. Let go of your insecurities and step out of your comfort zone.
Yo, I know this is seriously hard to do. Trust me. I’m quite the introvert and the biggest thing that has helped me get out of my comfort zone is probably the fact that I’m married to a major extrovert. He pushes me to branch out and meet and talk to people that I otherwise would be in the corner hiding from. It took a few years of being married for me to have the courage to jump out of my comfort zone when he’s not around, like when I’m at the playground with our kiddos.
But let me tell you, now that I (more often than not) do have the courage to step out of my comfort zone and talk to fellow moms at the playground, I’m always glad that I did it. I’m not going to make a lifelong bff every time I engage another mom in conversation but I’ll at least make an acquaintance that I can say hi to when I run into her at Target, which makes me feel way less lonely.
Step Two. Get involved in church or in the community.
Almost all of my mom friends go to my church, not only do we have kids similar ages but we also have the same beliefs and morals. Friends that you have that much in common with are going to be the best kind of friends and most likely they will be life long friends. Get involved at church by volunteering in kids’ ministry or another area that fits your skills and interests and you will naturally make some new friends. You can also make mom friends by joining some kind of group in your community. Maybe it’s a regular class at the gym, the PTO at your kids’ school, a cool club of coffee shop fans, or a local MOPs group. The possibilities are endless.
Step Three. Continue to build your friendships.
You can’t just meet a mom friend and then do nothing. It really is like dating, if you want to develop a friendship then you have to take action. Invite your new friend over for coffee while your kids play, have girls’ night out at a fun local restaurant (without the kiddos), meetup at Target and walk around! I can pretty much guarantee that she is hoping that you will reach out because she is just as lonely as you are.
Once you have a solid friendship, you need to continue to nurture it, like any other relationship. Have regular playdates, text each other funny memes, or get together for kid-free nights out once a month. Be there for your friends, listen when they need to vent about how terribly potty training is going, offer advice when they are at a loss for how to get the baby to sleep through the night, offer to take their kids for the afternoon when your friend isn’t feeling so great, and most importantly, pray for your friends.
I know how isolating it can be to be a stay-at-home mom and how scary it is to step out of your comfort zone. For realz. But I have never regretted taking a big leap of faith and making an effort to grow my community of mom friends.
I dare you to step out of your comfort zone and work on making a new mom friend, or two.
Comment below and tell me where you met your mom friends!