Thoughts on Marrying & Parenting Young
There's a lot of posts out there about why you should or shouldn't marry young and I thought I would through my two sense in the mix considering that I was 19 and Seth had just turned 20 on our wedding day. In sharing my thoughts on this topic, I'm not telling you that you
to get married young or you
to wait. Everyone is different and everyone's situation is different. Plus, everyone meets their special someone at different points in their life. What I'm saying with this post is that
it is okay
to get married young.
Seth and I met my junior year of high school and his senior year, 2011, when we were both 17. I then graduated in June 2012 and that October we were engaged. At the time we were engaged, I was in my freshman year at Millersville University and he was working full time and was living out of his parent's house. I was also working part-time, pretty close to full time while in school. Towards the end of the school year I decided that I
college and decided to drop-out and work full time. We got married on June 21, 2013 and enjoyed the summer as newlyweds. Towards the end of August we decided that we wanted to add a baby into the mix and at the end of September, I had just turned 20 and I was pregnant. And finally, June 29, 2014 William was born. It's been a crazy, stressful year and a half but I wouldn't trade it for anything. All of this has gotten me my beautiful, beautiful son and a wonderfully supportive husband. Who would trade that?!
Tips on Marrying Young
if you are thinking about marrying young like we did, here are my tips
Be sure that you can afford it.
You do not need to be a millionaire to get married or have your high paying dream job. But you do need to have enough to cover things like rent, groceries, electric, car payments, etc. Before we even got engaged Seth sat down and went over our finances and once he decided that we could afford it, he made a budget. We set a rent limit when searching for a home and stuck to it, keeping in mind additional things like gas and electric. So many marriages struggle when it comes to money so stop those arguments before you even get married.
You don't have to date a thousand people before getting married.
Seth is the only guy that I have ever dated. Seriously. I
knew what I wanted in a husband so I dated with the intention of getting married. Just because I married my first boyfriend, it doesn't mean that I didn't know what I wanted and needed in a husband. Don't let people tell you that you should wait and date around more so that you can be sure about what you want. If you know, then you know.
Look at life stages not ages.
Four out of six of my bridesmaids are in college and the other two are family members who are still in high school. Practically everyone my age is still in college and not even thinking about getting married in the next two years. The majority of our friends are at least three years older than us but
in the same life stage
. Like they say, age is just a number.
Tips for Young Parents
you've married young and now you're expecting your first little one. Here are my tips
Be sure that you can afford it.
Yes, number one in this section is the same as number one in the previous section. Sometimes we make plans and God just laughs and does the complete opposite. So you may not have really been planning on having a kid just yet but apparently God wanted you to. Just do your best, trust in God, stick to a budget, and save, save, save. Seth is so great with budgets (I'm terrible so I always knew I'd need a man who was great with money) and as soon as we got pregnant he started saving. He made a goal of having 100% of the insurance deductible in savings before William arrived and we did it! That saved a significant amount of stress when my due date rolled around because we knew that the hospital stay and whatnot was completely covered.
We got pregnant almost exactly three months after the wedding. I can't tell you how many times I ran into an acquaintance after I got pregnant who I hadn't seen since before the wedding and I felt awkward because I assumed that they would assume that I had gotten pregnant before the wedding and that's why we got married. I should have just been confident. Seth and I made the choice to try for a baby and in the first place we were mature enough to be married and had the money so I shouldn't have felt the need to explain the timeline of events to people.
Being a young parent is awesome.
This isn't a tip but rather a fact. I will be 38 years old when William graduates from high school; he and I are twenty years apart. I find that fact to be awesome. I'll be able to be really adventurous with him and I'll be young enough to hang out with my grandkids and probably even my great grandchildren. My parents and I are 22 years apart so they are able to play with William and my grandparents are able to spend a ton of time with him as well. Plus, being 21 (I turned 21 three months after William was born) means that my body bounced back faster than it would have if I had been older.
What are your thoughts on these topics? How old were you when you married/had kids?